Dating Apps & Safety Traps

Look Before You Leap

Why are dating apps are so much fun yet inherently so full of risk? It's because they cultivate an ecosystem based entirely on emotional decision making; lure you into false sense of security via pair-bonding with a connection, and then prompt you to overshare intimate, identifying, and personal information with a complete and total stranger. Remember: relationships and trust take time. So, start slow, and build strong.

Here are five simple ways to improve your protective posture while looking for love online:

Do not link your social media accounts to your dating app. Whenever possible, try to keep the two platforms as compartmentalized as possible. Try to use different photos too. Bottom line: Don’t make it so easy for some creep or crazy to find you should you have to block/delete them.
Protect your privacy. Be careful to not overshare personal, sensitive, or identifying information. Think twice before sharing your personal mobile number or social media handles;
Trust but verify. Google them. Search: “images.google.com” then upload their profile photo to see if it appears on any other profiles under any other names. If that sounds too technical for you, here’s a handy step-by-step guide that shows you what to do;
Trust your gut. When in doubt, X them out. Do not allow yourself to get strung along or disrespected. Be in control of your own agency. In all manners of love and life, be slow and deliberate about those you allow in, but quick and decisive about those you zero out.
DO NOT SEND INTIMATE / NUDE PHOTOS. An overwhelming amount of sextortion /blackmail exploits originate from a dating app connection. The best way to prevent yourself from becoming targeted by this kind of exploit is to not say, share, or send anything you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see on the front page of the newspaper or featured on the evening news.

Questions/Comments? Would love to hear from you. Send me a note with the subject line “dating apps” to: info@CoursenSecurityGroup.com

Special thanks to the St. Charles City-County Library for hosting this event and to Heather Wefel for moderating the discussion.